The signs are there...

Originally published 2/17/06

It doesn’t happen very often, but when it does, it’s magical.

Cheney shot a guy.

Madonna got a hernia.

There’s BIRD FLU in TURKEY.

Scott Stapp was arrested for public intoxication. On his honeymoon. Two days before a sex tape surfaced. Between him and Kid Rock!

There is a God.

Am I an ass that I laughed when I saw the headline, “Bird flu in Turkey”? It’s like a headline reading, “People starving in Hungary.” Or “Things getting slippery in Greece.”

And I think people should give Cheney a break for the little hunting thing. People want charges pressed, and I have to say, let it go. I argued that people should leave Clinton alone for getting a blow job, I’d be a hypocrite if I didn’t say the same here. Being the president is a very, very stressful job (and let’s face it, Cheney’s the freakin’ president), and sometimes they need a release. It’s for the good of the country. Clinton got his sneezle snogged. Cheney had to shoot a guy. Whatever gets you off.

And Madonna got a hernia. Now that’s just effin’ funny.