Saturday, October 21, 2006

'Sup Dawg?

Originally posted 5/24/06

This is gonna be a little un-PC today.

I live in a fairly multi-cultural neighborhood. By that I mean it’s about half white folks and half black folks and 2/3 hispanic folks.

‘Cause let’s face it, almost everywhere is 2/3 hispanic folks.

Something I’ve noticed when I’m out jogging or just driving through the neighborhood... What’s with the black dudes and the pit bulls?

Do these guys know that there are other breeds of dog out there? Is that what all the rappers have, is it like doggie-bling? Or are they just trying to look tough?

See, that doesn’t work on me. I don’t think someone walking a pit bull looks tough. After all, why would someone walk around with a dog that could kill people? Because they don’t want to fight anybody. They want the dog to do the work.

See that doesn’t make you tough. Having a tough dog doesn’t make you tough at all. Makes you look weak if anything. I mean, skinny white girls get big dogs so they feel protected, if you’re a big black dude walking a big dog, that means you can’t take care of yourself, it makes you look like that Olsen Twin white girl with 3 cans of mace in her pocket. If I saw a big, tough-looking black dude walking down the street with a pit bull, I wouldn’t be afraid of that guy. Because I’d know it’s all a front.

Now, a big black dude walking around with a Pomeranian… I’d find my way to the other side of the street. ‘Cause that’s someone just ready to start some shit. He’s begging you to say something. He’s aching for a funny look from you. That’s a dude who has determined, he is not going home until he kicks someone’s ass. And I am not going to let that ass be mine. Because you know while he’s pounding you into the ground, that Pomeranian, he’s biting your nuts.

And Pomeranians have that long narrow snout with the sharp teeth, that’s just a cheap vasectomy. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve got nothing against vasectomies, but I want it on my own schedule.

And when I do, I really want the guy who does it to have opposable thumbs.

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