Saturday, October 21, 2006

Time to Face the New Music

Originally posted 5/30/2006


I really hate to say this, but I think rap music is dead.

Black folks need to come up with a new form of music and quick. And yeah, I charge black folks with that because you don’t want white folks to do it.

Remember new wave? That’s what happens when white people come up with new kinds of music, because it’s messing with nature’s system! The way it works is, black folks invent the music, we cracka-ass crackas steal it from you, and we destroy it, that’s how it works.

It’s always been like this. It started with Southern Gospel. The Blues, started as black music from freed slaves, Leadbelly played it in prison, Robert Johnson sold his soul to the devil, now Jim Belushi and John Goodman play it at the House of Blues *gag*. Then you moved on to jazz. We stole it. R & B, which became rock and roll. Soul music, Al Green became Michael Bolton. Disco, Earth Wind and Fire became ELO. And finally Rap. Run – DMC, Eric B and Rakim, Rob Base and DJ EZ Rock, these are the pioneers, man. I turned on the TV the other day and I heard, “Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun, yo! Nuthin’ eats like a Big Mac, WAORD!”

It’s over.

When people are rapping about a f*ckin’ burger, man, it can no longer be cool. When Mickey Mouse is rapping on the Disney Channel, it’s over!

It’s officially been ruined.

And it’s not your fault, it’s our fault. We, the white people, destroyed your music, but it’s all we know how to do!

And now we’re flailing in a sea of regurgitated music sewage, because there’s nothing new, nothing fresh for us to devour and turn into feces. And that’s why I’m saying, you black folks have gotta come up with something new, because you know what? If you leave it to us… All I’m saying is that somewhere out there is a Swedish band with an idea that’s gonna change the world…

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